Stuff happens.
That’s the old bumper-sticker slogan from early-80s-era ‘self-help’ in a nutshell (or the family-friendly version of the curse-word original saying, at least): Curt. Direct. Get-Over-It-Oriented.
This modern-day, cuss-free bumper sticker version is available from the company Vinyl Motion.
It’s no wonder then that emotionality was seen almost universally as weakness in that same era. And conflict management was in its workplace nascence, in a sense, as studies on cultural differences and varying modes of leadership styles were just beginning, with the little bit of human data preceding it mostly focused on a specific white-male-middle-class gaze that led most such studies.
And while white-male-middle-class is indeed one of the many valid perspectives in the world (or the United States, at a minimum), it is by far not the only one. … It’s taken us quite some time to arrive at this truism in national group consciousness.
Today, conflict management intel is comparatively and appropriately rich (the term even has its own Wikipedia page), with special categories given to outcomes, goals, leadership styles, cultural preferences & perspectives, as well as various ways to relate to conflict in general—those being a primary 5 styles of: competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding & accommodating. Not to get too bogged down in lists, but … I’m adding a handy, simplified version of my own. (Read on!)
Over the next few entries, The Confident Communicator will focus on some important parts of conflict management as it’s evolved through emotional intelligence. These include:
Self-awareness - What do I bring to the discussion table around conflict? What are my personal outcome goals & communication/management styles?
Goals - Identifying these at the top, both internally & overtly for all to agree upon before beginning, can bring intentionality as a stabilizing framework to the entire process.
Motivations - Separate from goals, this deeper personal awareness can help keep you on track to the very end—no matter how long it takes!
Perspective-taking - Rather than just, “How would I feel if I were in their shoes or seat?”, this important & highly emotionally intelligent soft skill can often end conflict in one fell swoop. And it’s a skill set that can be learned.
Got a problem that you think this list can’t solve…? Let’s talk about it!
Speak your truth,
Have questions? Let’s talk! Book a virtual coffee with Coach Kiki to speak your truth … with confidence! After all, when you are confident, focused & authentic with your message, you are a magnet to what (& who) you wish to attract. (That’s my coaching philosophy.)
You can also join the community of Confident Communicators on Skool: It’s our free club for professionals who are learning to up-skill their speaking games.