“I am petite & powerful!”
This is the phrase I use to help me feel confident before:
a presentation
a big pitch or sales call
mediating conflict
I even used it to get through childbirth—twice! … I call it my Key Motto™, & yes, I’ve trademarked the phrase.
A decade & a half ago, I stood before my first-ever business presentation audience on a rainy weekday morning, trying not to look nervous. It was a standing-room-only crowd, & more crowded than ever with rain-soaked people shuffling through the doorway & laying their dripping umbrellas upside-down to dry. The year was 2008, & so many people were more scared than ever about the flailing economy—many, working on commissions alone with no income safety nets for their families. Those were the people who had come out, despite the weather, to hear me speak on “Selling More While Saying Less.”
A writer-photographer from the local paper was even there, camera clicking & pen poised to write up the philosophy of this new local-area Communications Coach. I felt the pressure of all of it as I looked out across the sea of expectant faces &, rather weakly, began my speech.
My hook was strong, but my voice (& confidence) was shaky. It was directly after that speech, shaking hands & mingling with the interested (& forgiving!) audience members that day, that I told myself I needed to coach myself in the art of crafting & using my own tool, the Key Motto™.
Since then, it has become the staple signature of my coaching practice. And my Key Motto™ has been the crowning thought to my own life success.
Like an affirmation statement on steroids, this phrase takes all of our most limiting beliefs—the ones that whisper into our ears privately like personal bullies, “Haha, you can’t do this! You’re a fraud! Everyone’s going to know”—& allows us to agree with them. It’s Bully-Busting 101 that says we can de-fuse others’ threats when we laugh at ourselves & make others’ taunts lose their power. A Key Motto™ stops the internal argument: no stating the limiting belief’s opposite phrase 1,000 times in the mirror to force ourselves into buying it. No! Instead, we get to immediately shift our outlook with a phrase that not only embraces the power of the limiting belief, but also lets us recall other evidence in our lives to the contrary. We get to let go of the aspirational hullabaloo & simply know to our core that we are capable.
It really is that easy. This worksheet is one way to walk through the process on your own. Consider using a time when you weren’t thinking or speaking the way you wanted to, even conversationally, as your opening scenario for the worksheet.
I walked myself through the process all on my own (which is why I have faith that you can, too): First, I identified what I felt & thought at the top of my speech (butterflies in my belly, plus sweaty hands & a high heart rate, as well as a weak voice; all the “scared” moods possible—like nervous, anxious, intimidated, afraid; worries about doing well that translated to one, self-defeating thought, “Who am I to share this message?”). I examined all of my past history that led me to doubt myself & summed it up with the limiting belief, “I am the invisible girl.” After all, I was too short, too thin (in my own opinion back then) & too quiet to hold a stage presence—even just from the front of the room.
But I also knew that I had successfully held leadership positions; gotten very positive feedback from my top-level Toastmasters group that included a number of professional motivational speakers; & I believed 100% in the power of my message. Ultimately, I also believed that if my message was powerfully life-changing & if I was the creator of the message, it was possible that I had some important life powers, too.
Of course, each of us flawed-but-perfectly-imperfect human beings has our individual areas of strengths & weaknesses, or areas for growth. I took those too-short-too-small-too-quiet ideas & put a prettier bow on them: I am petite & powerful!
When I say it, I can’t help but square my shoulders, lift my chin & even put my hands on my hips. I feel like Wonder Woman with a cape billowing from my shoulders. When I think it while I walk, I strut my stuff.
Where are you ready to strut & shine? Use the worksheet. Speak your truth!
Would you like to find your own Key Motto™ confidence? Let’s talk! Book a virtual coffee with Coach Kiki to speak your truth … with confidence! After all, when you are confident, focused & authentic with your message, you are a magnet to what (& who) you wish to attract.